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Advice Needed... I could really use some advice, ladies.
Back in my college days I was pretty wild, a love 'em and leave 'em kind of jack ass. As I got a bit older (late 20s), I met someone who I liked and we began dating. She was fantastic, huge heart and very loving; however, I quickly learned that she didn't want to have kids (she was in her early 40s then). This was a dealbreaker for me, but we continued to date even after acknowledging that our relationship had an expiration date. Some of the time we dated we were officially "together"; other times, we weren't and were "just dating". During those "just dating" times I did see other people; I was always honest with her whenever there were other people in my life. At one point, I did date a man briefly; I've always identified as a lesbian and the fact that I had this short-lived encounter with a man really threw me for a loop a the time. Since then, I've become firm in my knowledge that men just aren't for me.
The problem is, the woman I dated is very well known in town... Sort of a fixture in our little Austin lesbian community. She and her friends seem to be "IT" in terms of the upwardly mobile, late 30s to 40 something year old crowd. I find it very difficult to socialize because I am still clearly HATED for things that happened 5+ years ago. Example: I saw the ex-girlfriend's sister as I was walking downtown. She stopped and pretended to windowshop at a dry cleaners that had already closed for the day so she wouldn't have to say hello to me. (this happened last month!)
Best I can guess is that the ex-gf did not tell her sister/friends when we were broken up, so when I was dating other people I think it was just assumed that I was cheating. I don't feel like I have to explain anything to anyone, and it seems absolutely absurd that people can't at least be civil in public, but the idea of trying to go out and make friends much less find someone I might date is incredibly intimidating.
I'll be the first to admit that I was a Grade A jerk in my younger days and the back and forth relationship with the ex-gf certainly wasn't my shining moment, but I just don't know how to move past this horrible reputation I seem to have following me around. And, I know that I can step out of that circle to meet new people, but it seems pointless because this "IT" group is far-reaching. As recently as 2 yrs ago I met a woman who knew the ex-gf and her sister. The sister went so far to tell the woman I had met that she shouldn't date me and told her horrible things about me.
I really just don't know what to do and how to find a place in our community of women who just seem like they love to gossip. Housewives looking real sex Addieville
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