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I wanted you to know that I am ready to go... Heartbeat m4w First off you're not a slut I'm not sure what implications transpired to make you think I saw you as one, and what we had was never a just a "sexual encounter", that might have been how we got started but at the end it felt like something more. Cause an "encounter" isn't looking into your eyes as they roll back when we were one, it's not holding hands and kissing in bed, it's not putting my arms around you when I woke up, it's not talking about how rough your life was and still is, it's not losing sleep at night when I knew you were with someone else (and probably still are), it's not holding on by a string while the thought of not being with you ate at me, it's not trying not break down when a song that reminded me of you came on, and it's definitely not thinking that we could've had a life together or even remembering the dates we first met, we first kissed and spending our first night together. No, those things are precursors to something that could've been really special. To be clear I'm to blame for you leaving cause I messed up, to which I gladly admit to, and I tried to get you back, believe me I did. I would've died trying to get you back and done it with a smile if it meant that we could've been together, I would've gotten on my knees and asked you to come back, I told my self that if I got you back I would've never messed it up again. It took a while to put myself back together. . . cause I still remember what you said. . . "Move On. I feel nothing for you." so as strange behavior as it is for a man, I listened. That meant putting you out of my life, and I did, I carved everything out of my life that had to do with you and that, my dear took time to heal as well. That's what moving on is, so it came as a bit of funny surprise when we locked eyes a few nights back and I saw your eyes get big as if you'd seen a ghost. Even funnier was that I heard you were bothered (as it appears) that I didn't acknowledge you. Which I have to thank you for; running into you like that, knowing that I know there's nothing there anymore and if even if there was I know we can never go back, is a realization I've come to peace with (which you proved). The way that you reacted and handled everything just showed me you're a confused girl. . . grabbing at straws for attention. Dare I wonder why was my lack of acknowledgement such an issue for you? You never liked it when I showed emotion anyways. So I can facilitate this confusion, no matter where ever we may run into again I will never acknowledge you, that thing I thought was a connection was just an illusion, whatever it was that we thought could've been or whatever attraction there was is so damaged and burdened that we can NEVER go back to the way it was, there's no happy ending for you and I, thats just life. To put it another way, I turned my back on you a while back, I was done dwelling about what could've been or wether or not I ever mattered to you months ago (I have our talks to thank for that). What you do, how you react, who you hook up with, or who you marry none of that is my cross to bear, its not my problem. Now I'm going to finish this by wishing you the best cause you've earned that much. I've taken the week off to have a good time and some of those "encounters" you referred to. Here's to hoping maybe in another life, darlin'. Farewell. Oh, one other thing Im not scum, I'm an asshole and as it's intended purpose; I don't take shit, I get rid of it.

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