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Hi and thanks for reading. A bit skeptical of this, but friends have had luck here, so what the hell, worth a shot I guess.
Im a 26 yr old BBW (Attractive if youre into that) who is ideally looking for a friend with benefits or hookup partner. The thrill of someone new.
Only requirements are under 40, clean, attractive, sane, and most importantly, able to host. Im on the west side near the mall but can easily travel. Pic for pic.

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I am most likely not what you are looking for About me:
I was once asked if I were an object what I would be. Im an old baseball glove, beaten down by life with a lingering leathery musk. Its completely coincidental that I cover my body in mink oil daily.
I was also recently asked if I had all of my teeth. Apparently the online dating arena is just chock full of toothless men. So to answer your question ladies .yes I have all of my teeth. Kaching! Minus my wisdom teeth. Which is too bad because I could use a little extra wisdom right now.
Im considered by women to be harmless. Im the guy that every woman wants to be friends with, and only sees me as their brother or gay friend (Im not gay. That being said I have no issues with that lifestyle. It just isnt for me. However, I have had more offers for dates from men recently than from women, but I digress).
Things Im good at:
Making lists. House work. Cooking. Grammar (Im lying). Web Design (Im a work from home software engineer that really just wants to be an engineer .trains are cool), Parallel Parking. Im excellent with numbers, and will totally do your taxes ;) (the winky face made that an innuendo in case you missed it. If you dont know what innuendo means you should stop reading now as the rest will go right over your head.)
Everything Im REALLY good at is nearly worthless. I can hit a slow pitch fastball (yup, oxymoron), I can twerk (only if I wear yoga pants), solve differential equations while applying quantum statistical theory. I can build a computer from a stack of parts and duct tape, but dont ask me why your laptop has a virus (psst .your dad was looking at pictures of naked ladies).
The first thing people usually notice about me: I have trouble drinking from a glass full of ice cubes without a straw. I tip the glass back and am suddenly attacked by all of the ice trying to escape from the glass. I then get wet. I stare a lot. Its not that Im rude or have special needs, Im just interested how some individuals have lived as long as they do.
The six things I could never do without:
1. The interwebs
2. Chicago style pizza
3. Breasts .mine are fantastic
4. Hugs (The really long creepy kind where I smell your hair and its totally too early in the relationship for that)
5. Awkward silence
6. My sun (correct spelling)
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
Puppies. Just kidding, it is kittens. Ok .you caught me. Its Math.
Typical Friday Night:
I leave work and deal with the long commute home. Which is about 30 seconds. I work from home. I sit on the couch and realize I havent taken my jammies off from last night. I go shower and put on fresh jammies. I eat something super awful from the fridge or I order a pizza. I tell myself only two slices this time. After I completely down the pizza I feel guilty, change clothes, and go to the gym. About 60 90 minutes washes away the shame the pizza caused. The worst part of being single on a Friday night is when you realize it is actually Tuesday afternoon.
Im looking for:
• Girls who like guys
• Ages 28 45
• Near me
• Who are single
• Who read my post and either smiled, giggled, or full belly laughed. If you read this and thought I was an idiot .well you arent wrong, but you need to move along.
You should message me if:
Ok no one replies to my ridiculous posts. You should be unique. Dont follow the crowd and pass on by. Stand out and drop me a line. You will probably regret sending me a message, but at least Ill make you laugh.
My perfect date night:
I pick you up at your door. We walk down to the nearest bus stop and wait for the Grey 32. We get crazy and get off at the first stop to find a place to eat. It turns out we get off in the ghetto, and that is really bad because I dont speak hood rat. After a series of close s and misadventures we duck in to a back alley door which happens to be a bar. We have a drink and laugh about what has happened. We finally settle on a restaurant and figure out how to get there. As we try to leave the bar we are instructed that, "No one leaves without singing the blues." We proceed to sing the blues so that we can leave. We finally make it to the restaurant and have a nice dinner, until it is interrupted by ninjas attacking the patrons. We fight back to back dispatching ninja after ninja. We barely escape. I walk you home. As I kiss you good night the camera pans back to show more ninjas hiding in your bushes (not an innuendo). Fade to black.

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38 still looking for good gal Good bad boy typ. lookin ta make new friends ..and hopefully find that nice gal ta enjoy life..yes i ride..if ya think I'm interesting enough ta mail me back..tell me about yerself and a pic would be nice ..please if yer not single..I'm not inta cheaters .

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Latin Lover w4m Looking for a dark, tall fairly good shaped man. Must be disease and drug free!! Age 27-40. This could turn into a FWB. I am married so must be discreet. I don't care if you are married but please no drama also be clean cut! Email me with Dark in the subject line. would love single woman seeking love find fuck to see where this goes.