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Stop My Falling Heart w4m There comes a point in your life when you meet someone that you were destined to meet, but are not allowed to love. The question is, would the bigger man love the person despite the challenges, or accept that it is impossible and that there is never truly one single soul mate in a person's life?
I can't love you. I won't love you. So, I hate your smile that is infectious. I hate when I catch you looking my way. I hate the way catching your eyes brings back a familiar fluttering in my chest that I haven't experienced since my teenage years. Most of all, I hate that no matter how many times I try, I can't get over the feeling. Just when I think I'm satiated and happier alone, you pop back up almost as if testing my resolve. You are kind to me, in the times we speak, and it coerces me into falling, but I know better. Still, I waver. I try to treat you just like anyone else, but in doing so I try and hide my smile, cut my sentences short, and leave as quickly as possible. Perhaps, in saving face I'm confusing you as much as you've baffled me.
I can't deny my intuition that tells me the feeling is mutual, but circumstances leave it unrequited on my end. It's not as if I'm too shy to admit it, but I realize the repercussions. I won't be someone's secret, and I can't lose what I'd have to lose in order to make anything work between us.
So, despite the obvious crush, obvious to me, I have to convert those feelings to apathy. It's not hard, since I'm already agitated by the fact that you and I will have to keep contact many days to come. Never admitting a thing, but aching inside for a "what could have been."
It's really not as sad as I make it out to be. It's not an obsession of any sort. The only time it becomes impossible to think of anything else is when you are around. I curse the fact that I met you in these circumstances. If only, right?
However, I can't even give you the kindness I've given my past loves: hoping for their future happiness with another. I'm too selfish for that. I'd much rather hope we'll meet again someday under better conditions, and perhaps take the leap then. With that thought, I will do my best to stop my falling heart. Single wives searching horny sex man sex with women
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